First Go-go Interview: Na

As is often the case for many of us my first short visit to Thailand was a somewhat whirlwind affair; a few new friends guiding my travel companion and myself around to places and things they each thought were the most important: the Grand Palace, Wat Pho, MBK, Pantip Plaza and, of course, a few evenings out to satisfy our curiosity about the clubs and nightlife.

By the time my next trip rolled around I had already given thought to any number of questions I wanted to ask those who worked at these clubs. Having never seen such a laissez-faire attitude and philosophy about such things I was more than intrigued. Of course that was just the view from the surface, but from that vantage point it seemed that as long as you didn’t do it in the street and scare the horses almost anything within reason was okay.

Besides, I had already sat through enough sessions myself of being asked “How you?” “Where you from?” “How long you stay Thailand?” “What hotel you stay?” that turnabout seemed fair play. Pen and notebook in hand, I was ready to begin my second night in Bangkok, and I was ready.

A Thai friend was gracious enough to accompany me on my initial quest, although quite frankly I think he’d rather have been assigned to clear out water hyacinth along a dozen kilometers of the Chao Phraya river by hand.

We made our way back to a club we’d visited on the previous trip, allowed ourselves to be directed in by the touts out front and soon found ourselves at stage-side, facing a group of guys who took turns up on the stage a half-dozen at a time, shuffling along in a casual rotation before leaving the stage to re-take their spot in a darker area near the back of the club.

One taller guy spent most of his time onstage looking quietly down at the floor in front of his feet, occasionally glancing up at the few of us in the club that evening, but not making any effort to charm us whatsoever. I thought he was the best looking of the bunch but I couldn't get him to smile – and I tried everything but waving a thousand-baht note at him. A chatty waiter and the Mamasan both said his name was Na, and that he was one of the most popular boys in the bar, having an "off" most nights he worked, sometimes more than one in his five-hour shift. Guessing that this modus opporandi was along the lines of "poor little me" I invited him over to sit with my friend and I.

I knew it would more than likely be a fool’s errand for me to try to pantomime what I was there for, so my friend asked him for me if he would be willing to open up and answer some questions for me if I took him off for a short time; not for sex, but for a meal and conversation. I don't know if he believed my friend as he looked curiously at the two of us together asking to take him off, but after a brief moment he suddenly grinned and agreed. “Aha!” I thought to myself “So it was just an act!” Or was this the act? Wondering if I’d made a mistake I decided to wait and see. I paid the tab and the club’s “off” fee and we waited while Na disappeared into the back of the club to get into his street clothes.

After Na changed and we’d left the club the first thing he asked was where our hotel was. Through my friend I told him "No hotel. No sex. Just talking." The suspicious, serious look on his face faded when my friend explained more clearly that I just wanted to ask him some questions about his life. I asked if he was hungry and was surprised when he said he wasn't, but that he would like something to drink. We went to Dick's, found a relatively quiet spot inside and began to talk.

He was a delight. As soon as he realized this was really more of a paid break than a working arrangement his whole demeanor brightened and he shared freely about his life, his work, his family, his dreams and his plans. We ended up talking for several hours, the three of us. During that time I learned that he makes good money, was well on his way through college via the Farang Plan (he had two overseas friends who regularly helped him financially) and yes, his "poor me" act attracted a certain amount of sympathy but also – by seeming to be harder to get – many customers. We shared a lot of laughs, eventually shared some snacks, and time just flew by.

One of the things I was curious about was if the guys shared much about customers between themselves. For example, had he gone back to change and told a friend “Did you see the two guys I was sitting with? I think the farang’s a looney. He says he wants to off me and the two of them take me out for coffee. Is that creepy, or what?” He laughed and said yes, he’s had some bizarre requests but that this – while thus far the easiest – was hands down the most puzzling. He added that much like any job some employees tend to group together and that yes, sometimes they would compare notes on customers, both good and bad. If he saw someone come back into the club who’d been too rough or tipped him unfairly or had terrible personal hygiene that word would quietly get around among his circle of friends.

Unbeknownst to me my friend had asked him “And what will you tell your friends about your ‘off’ with us?” Na replied “I’m going to tell them ‘I guarantee I had more fun last night than you did!’” I felt good when hearing that on our taxi ride back home an hour or so later.

All too soon I realized what time it was getting to be, and asked Na if he wanted to go back to the bar, thinking in my naiveté that perhaps he needed to report back in. He said no, he'd enjoyed the evening with us and just wanted to go home and rest since he still had some homework to do for classes the next morning.

I quietly got my wallet out to tip him for his time, per our deal. Out of sight of the other customers around us I tried to discreetly hand him what I knew was a fair tip, only to have him try to give it back to me, saying he didn’t feel he deserved it for just talking and eating. "A deal's a deal, Na," I said – and he finally took it, with a smile and a wai.

I went to say hello to Na again in the club a couple more times, and it was nice to have him recognize me and break character long enough to smile when he’d look up and see me. Each time I’d invite him to come sit with me briefly, and I’d buy him a drink to keep the Mamasan at bay.

His English was never much better than my Thai (which has always been sadly lacking) but the last time we chatted I believe I understood him to say he was almost done with school and ready to move on. A year later he wasn’t there when I dropped in, and I got the standard “he finish” answer when I asked about him. He probably had another few club years in him and may have switched to another place, but I’ve decided I’m going to stick with thinking of him somewhere closer to his family and living a “normal” life… albeit a life with a somewhat colorful past.